I must learn to write more. Things got a little crazy there for a moment...And when one uses like I was just using, you kind of lose touch with reality...even the reality of the virtual world.
I went through more that $5000 in one month on mostly Cocaine and a bit of Heroin on the side. It was rather fun. But, when you run out of all of your money after using that much even so briefly it leaves you pretty desperate...and combine that with a bipolar diagnosis and you get a suicide attempt and a stay at the local psych ward. Anyway...I'm back!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Sound of Heroin
I decided to create a list of my favourite songs about Heroin.
For a list of many songs about Heroin go here:
http://www.thatspoppycock.com/library/media/opiates-and-music/
I've listened to all of the songs on that website (the whole site is great) and I have chosen my favourites. I have also included some songs that weren't on there, but should be.
So here it is - in alphabetical order (when it is a name, I go by last names and I don't include 'the'):
Alice in Chains - "God Smack" *"Junkhead"
Atmosphere - "God's Bathroom Floor"
Bad Religion - *"Billy"
The Beatles - *"Happiness Is a Warm Gun"
The Beta Band - *"Squares"
Blur - "Beetlebum"
David Bowie - "China Girl" *"Space Oddity"
The Brian Jonestown Massacre - *"Sue"
James Brown - *"King Heroin"
Cracker - "Low"
The Dandy Warhols - "Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth"
The Dead Boys - "Ain't It Fun"
Depeche Mode - *"Personal Jesus"
The Doors - "Crystal Ship" (Probably not about Heroin, but it reminds me of it anyway)
Eagle Eye Cherry - "Shooting Up in Vain"
Eagles - *"Hotel California" (I know this song is debatable, but it's about Heroin to me.)
The Flaming Lips - "The Abandoned Hospital Ship"
Gil Scott-Heron - *"Home Is Where the Hatred Is"
Lynyrd Skynyrd - "The Needle and the Spoon"
Marcy Playground - "Opium" (Opium or Heroin, whatever)
The Mars Volta - "The Widow"
Megadeath - "Use the Man"
Metallica - "Master of Puppets"
Joni Mitchell - "Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire"
Morning Glory - "Gimme Heroin"
Mike Ness - "Dope Fiend Blues"
Neutral Milk Hotel - *"Heroin Bag"
Nine Inch Nails - "Hurt"
Nirvana - "Aneurysm"
The Only Ones - "Another Girl, Another Planet" "The Beast"
Pink Floyd - *"Comfortably Numb"
Placebo - *"My Sweet Prince"
Iggy Pop - "Lust for Life" *"The Passenger"
John Prine - "Sam Stone"
Queens of the Stone Age - "Gonna Leave You"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - *"Otherside" *"Under the Bridge"
Lou Reed - *"Perfect Day"
The Reverend Horton Heat - *"Indigo Friends"
The Rolling Stones - "Dead Flowers"
Smashing Pumpkins - *"Bullet with Butterfly Wings" (Debatable, but to me it's about Heroin)
Elliott Smith - *"King's Crossing"
Spacemen 3 - "Things'll Never Be the Same"
Spiritualized - *"Cop Shoot Cop..." *"Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space"
Steppenwolf - "The Pusher"
The Stooges - "Loose"
The Stranglers - *"Golden Brown"
Sublime - *"Poolshark"
Tiamat - "A Deeper Kind of Slumber"
The Velvet Underground - *"Heroin" "I'm Waiting for the Man"
Wolfsheim - *"Heroin, She Said"
Neil Young - *"The Needle and the Damage Done"
* = The Best of the Best
So, check out these songs, because they are amazing. (I don't know who I am addressing, since no one reads this blog.)
For a list of many songs about Heroin go here:
http://www.thatspoppycock.com/library/media/opiates-and-music/
I've listened to all of the songs on that website (the whole site is great) and I have chosen my favourites. I have also included some songs that weren't on there, but should be.
So here it is - in alphabetical order (when it is a name, I go by last names and I don't include 'the'):
Alice in Chains - "God Smack" *"Junkhead"
Atmosphere - "God's Bathroom Floor"
Bad Religion - *"Billy"
The Beatles - *"Happiness Is a Warm Gun"
The Beta Band - *"Squares"
Blur - "Beetlebum"
David Bowie - "China Girl" *"Space Oddity"
The Brian Jonestown Massacre - *"Sue"
James Brown - *"King Heroin"
Cracker - "Low"
The Dandy Warhols - "Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth"
The Dead Boys - "Ain't It Fun"
Depeche Mode - *"Personal Jesus"
The Doors - "Crystal Ship" (Probably not about Heroin, but it reminds me of it anyway)
Eagle Eye Cherry - "Shooting Up in Vain"
Eagles - *"Hotel California" (I know this song is debatable, but it's about Heroin to me.)
The Flaming Lips - "The Abandoned Hospital Ship"
Gil Scott-Heron - *"Home Is Where the Hatred Is"
Lynyrd Skynyrd - "The Needle and the Spoon"
Marcy Playground - "Opium" (Opium or Heroin, whatever)
The Mars Volta - "The Widow"
Megadeath - "Use the Man"
Metallica - "Master of Puppets"
Joni Mitchell - "Cold Blue Steel and Sweet Fire"
Morning Glory - "Gimme Heroin"
Mike Ness - "Dope Fiend Blues"
Neutral Milk Hotel - *"Heroin Bag"
Nine Inch Nails - "Hurt"
Nirvana - "Aneurysm"
The Only Ones - "Another Girl, Another Planet" "The Beast"
Pink Floyd - *"Comfortably Numb"
Placebo - *"My Sweet Prince"
Iggy Pop - "Lust for Life" *"The Passenger"
John Prine - "Sam Stone"
Queens of the Stone Age - "Gonna Leave You"
Red Hot Chili Peppers - *"Otherside" *"Under the Bridge"
Lou Reed - *"Perfect Day"
The Reverend Horton Heat - *"Indigo Friends"
The Rolling Stones - "Dead Flowers"
Smashing Pumpkins - *"Bullet with Butterfly Wings" (Debatable, but to me it's about Heroin)
Elliott Smith - *"King's Crossing"
Spacemen 3 - "Things'll Never Be the Same"
Spiritualized - *"Cop Shoot Cop..." *"Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space"
Steppenwolf - "The Pusher"
The Stooges - "Loose"
The Stranglers - *"Golden Brown"
Sublime - *"Poolshark"
Tiamat - "A Deeper Kind of Slumber"
The Velvet Underground - *"Heroin" "I'm Waiting for the Man"
Wolfsheim - *"Heroin, She Said"
Neil Young - *"The Needle and the Damage Done"
* = The Best of the Best
So, check out these songs, because they are amazing. (I don't know who I am addressing, since no one reads this blog.)
Yes, Everybody Cares About You/Yea, and Whether or Not You Want Them To
I wish no one cared about me. I have to stop using - at least for now and who knows how long after that - because they care about me. Do I care about them? Deep down I truly don't believe that I do. But I care enough to want to at least feign the idea that I do care. I think that this might not even be caring...more like self-preservation and anxiety. I don't want to deal with their worries and judgements. I can't wait for the day that everyone who cares about me dies. When that day comes I will be reunited with the one thing in my life that has ever truly made me happy.
Maybe it seems sad and pathetic to you...
Well, you don't know how I feel. You don't know the workings of my brain. Maybe Heroin isn't the thing that brings you happiness, but it's the only thing that brings me joy.
And yes, I realise how much of an awful person I must sound like. Saying that I can't wait for people to die, especially people who care about me. Well, I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't think I am a very good person. People who meet me think I am just the nicest person and so caring and thoughtful. But, I'm not. It's all for show. I act like that, because that is how you are supposed to act. I don't want people to know how awful I am, because to have no feelings about others is judged socially wrong. Actually, more than that it is judged morally wrong. But, I can't help it if on the inside I am ugly. I can't help if I don't care about other people. Really this is an internal struggle with me. Sometimes I wonder if I really do care...I might, I get really emotional sometimes...I don't know. I'm boring you probably...
Anyway, I really hate people as a whole. I can't stand being in crowded places. I'm the person walking alone through the mall muttering under her breath about how much she hates being in the mall around all these stupid people. I guess I can't say that I don't enjoy the company of individual people, but I don't make much of an effort to get in touch with people.
Wow, I really got off topic there. In summation, I want to do Heroin but too many people who I probably don't even care about care too much about me for me to do it...Makes a lot of sense don't it?
Maybe it seems sad and pathetic to you...
Well, you don't know how I feel. You don't know the workings of my brain. Maybe Heroin isn't the thing that brings you happiness, but it's the only thing that brings me joy.
And yes, I realise how much of an awful person I must sound like. Saying that I can't wait for people to die, especially people who care about me. Well, I have finally come to the conclusion that I don't think I am a very good person. People who meet me think I am just the nicest person and so caring and thoughtful. But, I'm not. It's all for show. I act like that, because that is how you are supposed to act. I don't want people to know how awful I am, because to have no feelings about others is judged socially wrong. Actually, more than that it is judged morally wrong. But, I can't help it if on the inside I am ugly. I can't help if I don't care about other people. Really this is an internal struggle with me. Sometimes I wonder if I really do care...I might, I get really emotional sometimes...I don't know. I'm boring you probably...
Anyway, I really hate people as a whole. I can't stand being in crowded places. I'm the person walking alone through the mall muttering under her breath about how much she hates being in the mall around all these stupid people. I guess I can't say that I don't enjoy the company of individual people, but I don't make much of an effort to get in touch with people.
Wow, I really got off topic there. In summation, I want to do Heroin but too many people who I probably don't even care about care too much about me for me to do it...Makes a lot of sense don't it?
Friday, December 3, 2010
Heroin, She Said
No more mountains left to climb:
So it goes like this:
I finally reached the top of the mountain. Due to others, I fell to the ground without a second to think. I don't know when I'll be able to reach the top again, but I fear that I'll kill myself before I get the chance.
(copied from my notebook - so if it doesn't make sense, that makes sense)
So it goes like this:
I finally reached the top of the mountain. Due to others, I fell to the ground without a second to think. I don't know when I'll be able to reach the top again, but I fear that I'll kill myself before I get the chance.
(copied from my notebook - so if it doesn't make sense, that makes sense)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Why I Am a Junkie (And Probably Always Will Be)
Okay, last post of the day. This is the final installment of the introduction to this blog.
You may be asking yourselves the following:
Why is this stupid girl saying she enjoys being a Junkie? Is she for real? What made her use Heroin in the first place?
First of all, yes, I am for real.
Second of all, I am a Junkie because I want to be a Junkie. You know the old saying (in defense of Junkie's actually) that nobody wants to be a Junkie? Well, in my case, that is actually untrue. The first time I can remember wanting to be a Heroin addict is in the 8th grade. I don't remember what exactly was the specific thing I heard, saw, etc. that led me to this, but I think that it's a combination of both Lenny Bruce and anti-drug videos/magazines. There was something so dangerous and alluring about Heroin. I loved the stigma associated with Heroin. I think that I wanted to be on the outside of our dying culture.
Soon enough I was doing research all about Heroin from the internet/books. I actually still have the notebook that I made in high school describing step-by-step how to inject Heroin. I don't think I'll ever get rid of that notebook. I just think it is so funny that I actually did that. (I also started writing a novel about a Heroin addict - pretty much a story of how I wanted my life to be - and it wasn't all good stuff that happened to him) Anyway, aside from the logistics of Heroin use, I looked into what it did to people. Before I used, I was fully aware of what happens to most people who use Heroin: They get addicted and their lives are a mess. When I say I did research, I mean I did A LOT of research. I knew more about Heroin than many addicts probably knew and definitely more than the brainwashed-by-the-government non-addicts. I was excited to enter into my life of junkiedom. Only problem was I had no idea where to get Heroin from. The only drug you could get in my high school was pot. Eventually I found other drugs from going to festivals and meeting people (at the beach usually). Still, no Heroin. Sometimes I felt as if I was addicted before I even tried it. I could feel a yearning and longing to do Heroin in my stomach and heart. But, time went by and it isn't like Heroin was all that I ever thought about. I lived a normal life. Went to college...etc.
It was in college that I actually had my first taste. It was the end of freshman year (18 years old) and my friend (an opiate enthusiast) came across some while in New York City. He knew I wanted to try it, also, so he brought some back for me. I didn't inject it (sniffed it), but it was amazing. I did get nauseous, but it was no big deal. Shit, I have a weak tolerance for that nausea, because even now I still get nauseous very often from Heroin. Well, that was just a one time thing, because he never came across it again. (Actually we did inject oxys twice, but I'm not really a big fan of pills).
It wasn't until the beginning of Junior year (19 years old) that I came across a steady connection. Me and two friends were hanging out. One of them and I had consumed quite a bit of (sniffed) coke that night and it was 4am and we were hanging out on the stairs outside of our apartment building in a bad neighbourhood. A couple of guys walked by and my one friend (who never used Heroin before either but was curious, just not to the extent I was - actually I think it's my fault that I piqued his curiousity, but that's another story) asked if he knew where to get "that White Horse" from? Well, can you believe my luck? He was a Heroin dealer. (I said to my friend, see this is why I always carry cash on me, because you never know.) And thus started the beginning of my addiction. (I miss you Shaun! Where the hell did you go?)
That was quite an explanation just to explain that it is quite clear that my Heroin use was never out of peer pressure. Hell! When I started I didn't even know any other users. And yes, I sought it out all on my own. So many people could not believe that I did this. Everyone knows I have bad anxiety and they're all like how could you just go up to someone and ask? Well, for Heroin I would do anything.
Funny story: I actually had a group of friends at the time who weren't exactly thrilled that I was using Heroin, but were still my friends (we did kinda fizzle apart because I was lost in the world of addiction) and when I had been using for about a week, I said to them after taking a sniff (didn't start injecting 'till about three weeks in - only because I had to acquire some needles and I didn't realise how easy it was to get them at the time - I got mine online the first time, after that I started going to the Needle Exchange) "I can't believe it, I finally accomplished my goal in life." And I meant it. As pathetic and sad as it may have seemed to them, it was the truth. I felt at peace.
I was officially a Junkie...and the world was as it should be.
You may be asking yourselves the following:
Why is this stupid girl saying she enjoys being a Junkie? Is she for real? What made her use Heroin in the first place?
First of all, yes, I am for real.
Second of all, I am a Junkie because I want to be a Junkie. You know the old saying (in defense of Junkie's actually) that nobody wants to be a Junkie? Well, in my case, that is actually untrue. The first time I can remember wanting to be a Heroin addict is in the 8th grade. I don't remember what exactly was the specific thing I heard, saw, etc. that led me to this, but I think that it's a combination of both Lenny Bruce and anti-drug videos/magazines. There was something so dangerous and alluring about Heroin. I loved the stigma associated with Heroin. I think that I wanted to be on the outside of our dying culture.
Soon enough I was doing research all about Heroin from the internet/books. I actually still have the notebook that I made in high school describing step-by-step how to inject Heroin. I don't think I'll ever get rid of that notebook. I just think it is so funny that I actually did that. (I also started writing a novel about a Heroin addict - pretty much a story of how I wanted my life to be - and it wasn't all good stuff that happened to him) Anyway, aside from the logistics of Heroin use, I looked into what it did to people. Before I used, I was fully aware of what happens to most people who use Heroin: They get addicted and their lives are a mess. When I say I did research, I mean I did A LOT of research. I knew more about Heroin than many addicts probably knew and definitely more than the brainwashed-by-the-government non-addicts. I was excited to enter into my life of junkiedom. Only problem was I had no idea where to get Heroin from. The only drug you could get in my high school was pot. Eventually I found other drugs from going to festivals and meeting people (at the beach usually). Still, no Heroin. Sometimes I felt as if I was addicted before I even tried it. I could feel a yearning and longing to do Heroin in my stomach and heart. But, time went by and it isn't like Heroin was all that I ever thought about. I lived a normal life. Went to college...etc.
It was in college that I actually had my first taste. It was the end of freshman year (18 years old) and my friend (an opiate enthusiast) came across some while in New York City. He knew I wanted to try it, also, so he brought some back for me. I didn't inject it (sniffed it), but it was amazing. I did get nauseous, but it was no big deal. Shit, I have a weak tolerance for that nausea, because even now I still get nauseous very often from Heroin. Well, that was just a one time thing, because he never came across it again. (Actually we did inject oxys twice, but I'm not really a big fan of pills).
It wasn't until the beginning of Junior year (19 years old) that I came across a steady connection. Me and two friends were hanging out. One of them and I had consumed quite a bit of (sniffed) coke that night and it was 4am and we were hanging out on the stairs outside of our apartment building in a bad neighbourhood. A couple of guys walked by and my one friend (who never used Heroin before either but was curious, just not to the extent I was - actually I think it's my fault that I piqued his curiousity, but that's another story) asked if he knew where to get "that White Horse" from? Well, can you believe my luck? He was a Heroin dealer. (I said to my friend, see this is why I always carry cash on me, because you never know.) And thus started the beginning of my addiction. (I miss you Shaun! Where the hell did you go?)
That was quite an explanation just to explain that it is quite clear that my Heroin use was never out of peer pressure. Hell! When I started I didn't even know any other users. And yes, I sought it out all on my own. So many people could not believe that I did this. Everyone knows I have bad anxiety and they're all like how could you just go up to someone and ask? Well, for Heroin I would do anything.
Funny story: I actually had a group of friends at the time who weren't exactly thrilled that I was using Heroin, but were still my friends (we did kinda fizzle apart because I was lost in the world of addiction) and when I had been using for about a week, I said to them after taking a sniff (didn't start injecting 'till about three weeks in - only because I had to acquire some needles and I didn't realise how easy it was to get them at the time - I got mine online the first time, after that I started going to the Needle Exchange) "I can't believe it, I finally accomplished my goal in life." And I meant it. As pathetic and sad as it may have seemed to them, it was the truth. I felt at peace.
I was officially a Junkie...and the world was as it should be.
So...What the Fuck?
My question exactly. So, what the fuck is this blog about, then?
Well, to be honest, I guess it could be about anything I decide it to be. If you want to know the topic that made me finally decide to create a blog, here it is:
Everytime I search for thoughts from Heroin addicts or ex-Heroin addicts all I find is how much life sucks being a Junkie and even though it is hard to stay clean they don't ever want to go back into the lifestyle..blah blah blah. Whereas I respect that these people feel this way and I completly understand WHY they feel this way, I don't feel this way.
Okay a little background:
I am 22 years old. I have been IVing Heroin since I was 19 years old. (I also started IVing cocaine when I was 21 years old.) This past summer I had to stop abruptly. I was living back at home with my parents and I stole a substantial amount of money from them. (Close to $1000, I don't know the exact amount...[Boy was that a fun couple of days.]) The thought didn't even cross their minds that I could be addicted to Heroin, but they knew it had to be me and that there must be some sort of problem. I mean, who steals $1000 and doesn't even try to be sly about it? (Answer: A Junkie). Anyway, so they confronted me and even though for the sake of self-preservation of my habit I wanted to lie, nothing just seemed plausible, so I told them the truth. "Sniff...sniff...I'm addicted to Heroin." Next thing I know I'm at a detox facility (I actually had a lot of fun there, perhaps I'll post something about that in the future.) Currently I am at an outpatient rehab two times a week. I also attend the one SOS meeting a week (A secular alternative to AA/NA). I haven't exactly been clean since beginning outpatient, but it really hasn't been hard for me to stay clean once I made the commitment to stay clean to satisfy those around me and finish outpatient (I came to this decision on August 30). Keep in mind I do plan on using again in the future, so that could help ease it. I'm sure to discuss more about my experiences with Heroin and sobriety, but for now back to my main point:
I don't feel the way that the people I have read on blogs/webpages feel. "Oh woe is me!" sums up pretty well the general consensus on Heroin. Well, I am here to offer an alternative view. Summed up it is this: I loved being a junkie. Even though the people around me would say that my life was shit, I loved it. I loved the good, the bad and the ugly. Most ex-addicts seem to whine all the time about how they wish they could do Heroin, but don't want their lives to be shit again. Well, shut the fuck up, all ready! Heroin is the epitome of the good, the bad and the ugly. If you can't enjoy the bad and the ugly along with the good, like I do, then just stop using Heroin or deal with it. Life isn't perfect. Nothing is all good. I guess I am just lucky that I enjoy the bad along with the good.
I should probably point out that although I've enjoyed my experiences with Heroin, I in no way promote the use of Heroin. My point of view on Heroin is very different from most people. Many different Mental Health Professionals/Drug Counsellors have told me they have never met an addict who feels the way I do. I actually have met one other Junkie who thinks similarly to me (but not exactly the same). My point is, don't do Heroin kids, it'll fuck up your life and you probably won't enjoy a fucked up life, like I do.
Um, on a side note, I am cyclothymic (mini-bipolar, if you will) and have terrible anxiety, so I'm sure tid-bits of that will be sprinkled throughout the blog, as well.
Also, I tend to write in a very stream-of-conscious manner. It might get confusing, because I can't even follow my stream of conscious many times. I jump around a lot after getting off on tangents.. So, sorry in advance.
Enjoy...Or don't.
Well, to be honest, I guess it could be about anything I decide it to be. If you want to know the topic that made me finally decide to create a blog, here it is:
Everytime I search for thoughts from Heroin addicts or ex-Heroin addicts all I find is how much life sucks being a Junkie and even though it is hard to stay clean they don't ever want to go back into the lifestyle..blah blah blah. Whereas I respect that these people feel this way and I completly understand WHY they feel this way, I don't feel this way.
Okay a little background:
I am 22 years old. I have been IVing Heroin since I was 19 years old. (I also started IVing cocaine when I was 21 years old.) This past summer I had to stop abruptly. I was living back at home with my parents and I stole a substantial amount of money from them. (Close to $1000, I don't know the exact amount...[Boy was that a fun couple of days.]) The thought didn't even cross their minds that I could be addicted to Heroin, but they knew it had to be me and that there must be some sort of problem. I mean, who steals $1000 and doesn't even try to be sly about it? (Answer: A Junkie). Anyway, so they confronted me and even though for the sake of self-preservation of my habit I wanted to lie, nothing just seemed plausible, so I told them the truth. "Sniff...sniff...I'm addicted to Heroin." Next thing I know I'm at a detox facility (I actually had a lot of fun there, perhaps I'll post something about that in the future.) Currently I am at an outpatient rehab two times a week. I also attend the one SOS meeting a week (A secular alternative to AA/NA). I haven't exactly been clean since beginning outpatient, but it really hasn't been hard for me to stay clean once I made the commitment to stay clean to satisfy those around me and finish outpatient (I came to this decision on August 30). Keep in mind I do plan on using again in the future, so that could help ease it. I'm sure to discuss more about my experiences with Heroin and sobriety, but for now back to my main point:
I don't feel the way that the people I have read on blogs/webpages feel. "Oh woe is me!" sums up pretty well the general consensus on Heroin. Well, I am here to offer an alternative view. Summed up it is this: I loved being a junkie. Even though the people around me would say that my life was shit, I loved it. I loved the good, the bad and the ugly. Most ex-addicts seem to whine all the time about how they wish they could do Heroin, but don't want their lives to be shit again. Well, shut the fuck up, all ready! Heroin is the epitome of the good, the bad and the ugly. If you can't enjoy the bad and the ugly along with the good, like I do, then just stop using Heroin or deal with it. Life isn't perfect. Nothing is all good. I guess I am just lucky that I enjoy the bad along with the good.
I should probably point out that although I've enjoyed my experiences with Heroin, I in no way promote the use of Heroin. My point of view on Heroin is very different from most people. Many different Mental Health Professionals/Drug Counsellors have told me they have never met an addict who feels the way I do. I actually have met one other Junkie who thinks similarly to me (but not exactly the same). My point is, don't do Heroin kids, it'll fuck up your life and you probably won't enjoy a fucked up life, like I do.
Um, on a side note, I am cyclothymic (mini-bipolar, if you will) and have terrible anxiety, so I'm sure tid-bits of that will be sprinkled throughout the blog, as well.
Also, I tend to write in a very stream-of-conscious manner. It might get confusing, because I can't even follow my stream of conscious many times. I jump around a lot after getting off on tangents.. So, sorry in advance.
Enjoy...Or don't.
Opium for the Masses
I have always been opposed to the idea of blogging. In fact, I never thought that I would indeed create one. Blogging is the new opium for the masses. Well, here I am anyway blogging away. So, let me explain myself:
Why I have been opposed to blogging for so long:
1) I am a very secretive person. I don't have a facebook, myspace, etc. I never have and I never will. I don't like people knowing things about me. I pride myself on being hard to read. If you are able to read me, well then that says a lot about you. But, if I just posted everything online, where is the joy in discovering that someone actually understands you? I haven't found anyone who does yet, but it is fun to see them try.
Anyway, for this reason, this blog will remain anonymous. Do not ask for my name or pictures or anything that will lead to the discovery of who I am. Ich bin eine Katze...that is all you need to know.
2) Who cares? Who the fuck cares about what I have to say. I certainly don't give a fuck about what you have to say. This is still a question that bothers me as I continue to create this blog. In every day life I often ask myself this question. This is probably one of the reasons I am so secretive. But, just because I don't care doesn't mean that you don't care, right?
Probably not, but just in case...I made a blog.
Why I have been opposed to blogging for so long:
1) I am a very secretive person. I don't have a facebook, myspace, etc. I never have and I never will. I don't like people knowing things about me. I pride myself on being hard to read. If you are able to read me, well then that says a lot about you. But, if I just posted everything online, where is the joy in discovering that someone actually understands you? I haven't found anyone who does yet, but it is fun to see them try.
Anyway, for this reason, this blog will remain anonymous. Do not ask for my name or pictures or anything that will lead to the discovery of who I am. Ich bin eine Katze...that is all you need to know.
2) Who cares? Who the fuck cares about what I have to say. I certainly don't give a fuck about what you have to say. This is still a question that bothers me as I continue to create this blog. In every day life I often ask myself this question. This is probably one of the reasons I am so secretive. But, just because I don't care doesn't mean that you don't care, right?
Probably not, but just in case...I made a blog.
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