So...What the Fuck?

My question exactly.  So, what the fuck is this blog about, then?

Well, to be honest, I guess it could be about anything I decide it to be.  If you want to know the topic that made me finally decide to create a blog, here it is:

Everytime I search for thoughts from Heroin addicts or ex-Heroin addicts all I find is how much life sucks being a Junkie and even though it is hard to stay clean they don't ever want to go back into the lifestyle..blah blah blah.  Whereas I respect that these people feel this way and I completly understand WHY they feel this way, I don't feel this way.

Okay a little background:
I am 22 years old.  I have been IVing Heroin since I was 19 years old.  (I also started IVing cocaine when I was 21 years old.)  This past summer I had to stop abruptly.  I was living back at home with my parents and I stole a substantial amount of money from them.  (Close to $1000, I don't know the exact amount...[Boy was that a fun couple of days.])  The thought didn't even cross their minds that I could be addicted to Heroin, but they knew it had to be me and that there must be some sort of problem.  I mean, who steals $1000 and doesn't even try to be sly about it?  (Answer: A Junkie).  Anyway, so they confronted me and even though for the sake of self-preservation of my habit I wanted to lie, nothing just seemed plausible, so I told them the truth.  "Sniff...sniff...I'm addicted to Heroin."  Next thing I know I'm at a detox facility (I actually had a lot of fun there, perhaps I'll post something about that in the future.)  Currently I am at an outpatient rehab two times a week.  I also attend the one SOS meeting a week (A secular alternative to AA/NA).  I haven't exactly been clean since beginning outpatient, but it really hasn't been hard for me to stay clean once I made the commitment to stay clean to satisfy those around me and finish outpatient (I came to this decision on August 30).  Keep in mind I do plan on using again in the future, so that could help ease it.  I'm sure to discuss more about my experiences with Heroin and sobriety, but for now back to my main point:

I don't feel the way that the people I have read on blogs/webpages feel.  "Oh woe is me!" sums up pretty well the general consensus on Heroin.  Well, I am here to offer an alternative view.  Summed up it is this: I loved being a junkie.  Even though the people around me would say that my life was shit, I loved it.  I loved the good, the bad and the ugly.  Most ex-addicts seem to whine all the time about how they wish they could do Heroin, but don't want their lives to be shit again.  Well, shut the fuck up, all ready!  Heroin is the epitome of the good, the bad and the ugly.  If you can't enjoy the bad and the ugly along with the good, like I do, then just stop using Heroin or deal with it.  Life isn't perfect.  Nothing is all good.  I guess I am just lucky that I enjoy the bad along with the good.

I should probably point out that although I've enjoyed my experiences with Heroin, I in no way promote the use of Heroin.  My point of view on Heroin is very different from most people.  Many different Mental Health Professionals/Drug Counsellors have told me they have never met an addict who feels the way I do.  I actually have met one other Junkie who thinks similarly to me (but not exactly the same).  My point is, don't do Heroin kids, it'll fuck up your life and you probably won't enjoy a fucked up life, like I do.

Um, on a side note, I am cyclothymic (mini-bipolar, if you will) and have terrible anxiety, so I'm sure tid-bits of that will be sprinkled throughout the blog, as well.

Also, I tend to write in a very stream-of-conscious manner.  It might get confusing, because I can't even follow my stream of conscious many times.  I jump around a lot after getting off on tangents.. So, sorry in advance.

Enjoy...Or don't.